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"..treat with kindness your parents and kindred, and orphans and those in need.." 2: 83

What It Takes to Have a Great Muslim Family

Great Muslim family

Rabbi Zidnee Ilman
“My Lord! Increase me in knowledge.”

Family is one of the most widely discussed areas in Islam. A great Muslim family is built on the foundation of tranquility, contentment and love. Each member of the family is assigned a certain role and has responsibilities towards other members which they should fulfill as per the dictates of Islam.

Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “The best of you are the best to their families, and I am the best to my family; and when your companion dies, then do not abuse him.”
[Sunan At-Tirmidhi 3895]

Men are said to be the caretakers and breadwinners in the family and therefore it is their primary concern to look after the family. Raising children and giving them a good Islamic upbringing is the first step towards ensuring a blissful and strong family. And it all begins with treating the parents in the rightful way; obeying and respecting them at all times. The fact that the Qur’an stresses on taking care of parents and particularly mothers, can’t be ignored. Obviously, dishonoring and disrespecting parents is one of the gravest sins and it is in the best interest of children to be obedient towards parents and agree to their decisions and views.

 “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.”
{Surah Al-Isra 17: Verse 23} 

Similarly, Islam lays special emphasis on the kind treatment of mothers. Your mother deserves more love and affection than your father. So love her, be kind to her and do as much as you can, for never in your life will you be able to return all that she has done for you. Even a lifetime is less to dole out all the love for her who bears the brunt of any misfortune happily without ever letting her family suffer, keeping the ties of kinship strong and alive forever.

A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship?’ The Prophet said: ‘Your mother.’ The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: ‘Then your mother.’ The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: ‘Then your mother.’ The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: ‘Then your father.’
[Bukhari, Muslim]

For peace to prevail in homes, one must make sure to avoid all sorts of skirmishes, be it between husband or wife, brothers/ sisters, mother or kids. It is the work of Shaitaan to stir enmity among family members and ruin the bond between them by causing discord and dispute. Even if, for some reason there is disagreement between family members, try to sort out the issue judiciously and do not ever in any case, be indifferent towards each other, for that will make the connection bitter and take away the bliss and spark.

Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet ﷺ said, “Do not harbour grudge against one another, nor jealousy, nor enmity; and do not show your backs to one another; and become as fellow brothers and slaves of Allah. It is not lawful for a Muslim to avoid speaking with his brother beyond three days.”
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

A believer should always remember that his primary goal in life is to please Allah and ask for His forgiveness and it is only by having constant faith in Him that one can attain success in all affairs. An ideal Muslim family never forgets its aim and hence persistently works towards pleasing their Lord and seeking His pleasure.

Say: “Truly, my prayer and my service of sacrifice, my life and my death, are (all) for Allah, the Lord (and Cherisher) of the Worlds: He has no partners: This am I commanded, and I am the first of those who bow to His will.”
{Surat Al Anam 6: Verses 162-163}

Family education plays a significant role in determining an individual’s status in the society. Properly educating the women in the family is very important. Acquiring knowledge in the way of Allah is an ultimate act of piety which will not only help a believer in this Dunya but in the Hereafter as well. Islam permits women to work in any profession they want, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the religion. Throughout Islamic history, women led a free life with no restrictions as such and their active participation in the social, economic, and political spheres of society has not only earned them great respect but their constant struggle in educating and nurturing the same philosophy in the next generation is also worth noticing. This proves the fact that they were always capable of performing their duties well. So, it is incumbent upon every father /husband to educate the women in their family as it will not only prove beneficial for the society but for their next generation as well.

The Prophet ﷺ also said, “Whoever has two daughters and treats them kindly, they will be a protection for him against the Fire.”

Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudri narrated that : The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Whoever has three daughters, or three sisters, or two daughters, or two sisters and he keeps good company with them and fears Allah regarding them, then Paradise is for him.

Seeking knowledge is a duty of every Muslim, man or woman”
[Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 218]

For any Muslim family to be perfect, one must wholeheartedly accept the other members of the family, with all their flaws. Help family members work towards rectifying their faults without judging them. As they say, nothing is perfect. It is only by accepting the imperfections, avoiding the evil, being obedient to Allah and taking care of small needs of the family members that one can expect a peaceful family life which will still be imperfect, but perfect enough inshaAllah.

Authored by Maria Zafar 
Edited by Sana A. Samad

Prophet Muhammad - "Convey (knowledge) from me even if it is just one ayah" [Bukhari 3461]

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