Home / Improve Your Manners Series – Hadith Quickie 5
"And give to the kindred his due." (Surah Al-Isra’: Verse 26)

Improve Your Manners Series – Hadith Quickie 5

Improve your manners series 5


Allah ‘s Apostle said, “Whoever loves that he be granted more wealth and that his lease of life be prolonged then he should keep good relations with his Kith and kin.”

Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) out of His infinite Wisdom has made it incumbent upon us to maintain our ties of kinship with goodness. There are many ahadeeth found regarding maintaining the ties of kinship and the above mentioned one is one such. It manifests the significance of kinship and Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) has related it to one’s increase of wealth and span of his life!

In this article, we shall look into one important point of benefit from maintaining one’s ties of kinship.

If you look into the lives of the Prophets and the righteous, you can observe a similarity among them. Almost all of them had family members who turned out to be one of their greatest supports in their noble mission.

Ibraheem (alayhi as-salaam) was blessed with a righteous son, Isma’eel (alayhi as-salaam) who supported him and helped him in passing the tests that came from Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala). His son remained patient and gave him strength when he was ordered to sacrifice him and his son was his company while he constructed Allah’s house!

Ya’qoob (alayhi as-salaam) was blessed with his righteous and wise son, Yusuf (alayhi as-salaam), who as well grew up into a Prophet of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala). Musa (alayhi as-salaam) was blessed with the right company of his own brother, Haroon (alayhi as-salaam), who too was a Prophet and was a strength for him when he faced the Pharaoh.

Similarly, look at the entire family of ‘Imran. A complete surah is revealed in the family’s title and each member supported the other in the accomplishment of their great mission. Hannah and ‘Imran facilitated Maryam (alayhi as-salaam) to grow into the righteous lady she was. They provided her with whatever she needed to grow up in an environment that helped her grow in faith and eemaan. She then grew up to be the lady who would make history and through her very womb Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) blessed one of His Mighty Messengers, Eesa (alayhi as-salaam).

And finally, if you look at the last Messenger, Muhammad’s (salallahu alayhi wasallam) life, you can see the support he received from his own family. ‘Ali and Ja’far (radiAllahu `anhum) were the cousins of the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam) and were some of the sincerest and bravest of Muslims. ‘Ali (radiAllahu `anhu) risked his own life by agreeing to lie on the Prophet’s bed when the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam) set out for Hijrah. And Ja’far (radiAllahu `anhu) was the spokesman on behalf of the Muslims in Abyssinia and the brave martyr in the fierce Battle of Mu’tah.

Now, if you look into the lives of these prophets and even in many of the righteous people, you can see the support they received from their families and the substantial contributions they had to the cause of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala). And it is understood and realized that if a support comes from your family, that is far stronger than any other support you may get. There is a divine blessing in our relationships that have been chosen by Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) Himself and consequently it is no surprise that so much emphasis has been laid on preserving these bonds with goodness.


Following are four ways (of course from many) that we can implement to make our relationships with our kin stronger and more of goodness:

1. Dream big – Imagine all the families that crave for just one baby, one family member, one relative. Alhamdulillaah, if Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) has blessed you with a good number of kith and kin there is definitely a wisdom behind it. Dream to accomplish noble missions like many of the Prophets accomplished with the support of their families. Dream of having a family that become an exemplary family in the society and that lives in harmony with themselves and as a result extends their help to those who need support to strengthen and survive their families.
In today’s fast moving world, we talk a lot about team work. I say, there can be no greater and more effective team work than the team work of a family that has harmony, love, understanding, compassion and vision in it.

2. Forgiving and moving past their mistakes – Humans are created weak and they will err. What increases our status is how well we deal with these mistakes and errors.

Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) says: “But what is with Allah is better and more lasting for those who have believed and upon their Lord rely. And those who avoid the major sins and immoralities, and when they are angry, they forgive”.
{Surah Ash-Shura : Verse 36-37}

Just like you make mistakes, your siblings, parents, relatives also make mistakes. If you cannot forgive them, imagine what would happen if they did not forgive you for your mistakes. There would simply be no life. So, keep the greater goal in mind always, and forgive.

3. Avoiding suspicion – For any relationship to grow it is essential that you keep it clean from deadly suspicions and ornament it with positive thoughts. Whenever shaytan tries to inject suspicion about a family member or a kin, combat it with positive interpretation of their actions. If their actions are too disturbing, you have two options. Either you speak to them directly and sort it out. And this should only be done when you are sure that this will not cause greater rifts. And secondly, be patient, make du’a and continue in doing good from your side. I am sure the results will leave you surprised, insha Allah.

4. Spread goodness with words – Often times, our family gatherings or meetings are filled with unbeneficial talks. If Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) has given you a better understanding of His Deen than others, try to make these gatherings full of substance by adding in good talks. You should try to incorporate good words and encourage each other in good deeds in a very wise, calm and natural manner. Those sitting with you should not feel uncomfortable or sense an unnatural conversation. When a family often meets and remind each other of goodness, what do you expect from this family except for goodness?

May Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) grant us amazing families, enable us to work on our relationships with our kin and grant us the tawfeeq to work together as one unit for His Deen and keep us united and together in Jannah. Forever.

Authored by Faria Alam ♦ To Read more about the Author CLICK HERE
Edited by Tahira Amatullah ♦ To Read more about the Editor CLICK HERE

Prophet Muhammad - "Convey (knowledge) from me even if it is just one ayah" [Bukhari 3461]

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