Marriage, as they say is a blissful union of two souls. Allah SWT made this relationship extremely special and truly one-of-a-kind with both husband and wife enjoying the fruits of their love through a peaceful wedlock. It is truly a beautiful way of celebrating love, life and eventually heading towards Jannah by performing virtuous and righteous deeds and fulfilling the rights and obligations by acting upon the Sunnah and following in the footsteps of Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) so as to have a happily married life.
But before entering into such an amazing institution, there are certain key factors to be borne in mind. Young girls often times dream of a Prince Charming that is truly similar to the one they read in books, watch in romantic movies or fairy tales during childhood. Reality is a lot different from that phantasmagorical world and here, one needs to compromise a lot and accept whatever Allah has ordained for us with gratitude.
“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect” (Quran 30:21)”
The above verses from Quran lay emphasis on the fact that the essence of any marriage is the imperfection that one finds in each other and it is only through the acceptance of those imperfections, the two souls come together and eventually rise in love and never fall apart. The bond shared by both the spouses is summed in this verse:
“They are your garments and you are their garments.” [Surah Al Baqarah 2:187]
Just like women have certain rights over their husbands, similarly men too are required to fulfill certain obligations towards them. Neither of the two should disrespect each other as respect, trust and honesty are the key ingredients to a successful marriage.
“Men are protectors and maintainers of women.” [Qur’an 4:34]
But before entering into such a bond, soon-to-be-brides must be aware of certain ways to prepare for the D-day and various other things that directly strengthens the connection between spouses.
1. Duties and obligations
“When a servant (of Allah) marries, he perfects half his religion; and let him fear Allah with regard to the remaining half.”
Wedding is a four day affair, it’s the marriage that is forever and in order to have a timeless and unbreakable bond, sisters should learn to follow various rights with respect to Islam. Learning to being dutiful and obedient to the husband can go a long way to increase love and adoration for each other. This not only preserves the family but also protects the bond created by Allah from collapsing. It can be noted in the following Hadith:
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked: ‘Which women are the best?’ he answered: “The one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he asks something of her, and is not disobedient in herself or her money in what he hates.” [Musnad Ahmad]
2. Practicing Forbearance and Patience
No wonder, stress and failing to live up to one’s expectation are the main reason behind stressful marriages and maximum divorces. Driven by several TV serials, movies and Western exposure, the young and innocent girls dream of a similar Prince Charming depicted in such shows and hence have higher expectations from their spouses. They fail to notice that reality is quite different from fiction and when they realize it, they simply start to take the entire relationship for granted, either by disobeying their husbands or by cursing their fate et al. Sisters, it’s pretty obvious and much natural to dream of a handsome husband that takes care of all your needs and loves you to the hilt but it’s pretty important that you are not persistently caught in the quagmire of a fictional husband who is acting according to the scriptwriters whereas in reality your life’s script is written by Allah S.W.T who has already chosen your Mr. Right. All you have to work on is establishing and connecting a stronger bond between Him and you by performing Salat on time and bearing with patience and accepting whatever comes your way.
3. Choosing the perfect life partner
The Holy Quran states:
“Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity “(Quran 24:26)
Choosing the perfect life partner can be a difficult task but fret not; it’s all about the matter of time and if you were to look for a righteous husband, then always choose character over beauty. Many sisters have set standards and they are likely to go for the one who meet the criteria which is usually: wealth, rank, compatibility, caste etc. As stated above, one should always select partners that are pure and good.
4. Learning good manners
Once you enter into wedlock, there may be times when you both will have tiny tiffs and skirmishes over certain matters, but that shouldn’t cause any discontentment between you two. Keeping patience and mutually working onto sorting out the issues is the wise way of keeping the relationship intact and beautiful.
Umm Salamah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever among women dies while her husband is pleased with her, then she will enter Paradise.” [Sunan At-Tirmidhi, Book of Friday, Number 1078, Hasan]
5. Forgiving each other and working towards attaining Jannah
Narrated by Anas ibn Malik: Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said, “When a man marries he has fulfilled half of the ‘deen’; so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.” At-Tirmidhi Hadith 3096
Marriage is the most lawful, purest and spiritual bond meant to bring two beautiful souls together and hence has special significance in Islam. Sisters, if your spouse becomes angry over some issue, try to calm him down and do not make the situation worse by constantly arguing with him. Giving the relevant space to each other is an essential part. This not only helps in surmounting the problem but also gives your spouse a chance to work on his thoughts himself without being constantly dependent on you. So, be a dutiful wife and deal with patience and let him have his own decisions.
“The best among them are those that are kindest to their wives.” [Bukhari and Muslim]